needa membebel

manusia memang mudah berdendam. memerlukan kesabaran yang tinggi untuk menahan amarah yang melanda. tapi itu bukan satu alasan tuk kita membalas perbuatan mereka terhadap diri ini. mungkin ikut hati semua itu pasti. 'boleh je buat kalau nak', ayat paling mudah yang boleh ditafsirkan dengan kata2 jika terlalu bengang tapi tak sampai hati tuk melakukan. senang and very simple kalo kita pegang pada satu lagi kata2. 'diri ni sama je dengan orang yang buat 'taik' terhadap kita kalo kita balas dengan benda yang sama'. jadi, diam and still calm. bak kata lam movie karate kid, 'still calm and doing nothing are the different things'. jangan tengok movie tanpa mengambil sebarang iktibar. at least sikit pon jadi lah (tetibe je..).

kita memang selalu buat silap. dah nama pon manusia. mana ada yang tak pernah buat silap. paling mudah nak tengok dalam result exam ar. dapat la A pon tapi still ada gak soalan2 yang salah dan tak berjaya dijawab dengan baik. sebab tu system pemarkahan bagi range tuk grade (tetibe lagi..). tapi kalo dah wat salah dan memang itu salah kita, just admit and apologize la. buat apa nak bagi alasan yang 'taratantang lagi terbentang' cam kita langsung takde effort kan? marah la mcam mana pon manusia tu, lama2 still dia ada hati tuk maafkan even sikit. cuma jangan tambah kemarahan dia la. ada paham?? paling tak pon waktu kena tegur tu, just tunduk then buat ar muka insaf sikit. nampak la sikit kita ni cam menyesal ngan action kita tadi tu kan. takkan benda2 simple camni pon nak kena bagitau?? haisyo!!

ni plak pesanan tuk diri sendiri. meeting, meeting gak. abes tu note2 yang berlambak baru dapat tu bila nak mengadap?? merapu nombor satu! hisy! cakap nak berubah segala bagai tapi effort tak nampak pon lagi. effort terkini yang nampak, selit note2 kat rak and dah beli storage nak letak note2 lame segala bagai. memberansangkan ke effort2 tu?? ok lah..semalam dah merancang ngan rumate nak stay up starting next week. okeh! kita tengok berjaya tak nak wat segala tu. jangan cakap tapi takde action langsung wahai cik needa oiii!!!

ni satu lagi isu yang tengah dihadapi di awal pagi. memang la kejut orang subuh dengan zikir2 dan nasyid2 adalah baik. aku amat setuju tapi....bilik aku ada speaker. terkejut beruk weh! tetibe de suara budak nasyid2. lepas tu aku ikut nasyid sekali (yang ni aku suka). tapi, seyesly, kuat sangat la. tu dah lebeh 120db dah tu. present tuk hearing test for profound person pon 120db ni kan plak pendengaran aku yang alhamdulillah setakat ni masih normal dengan range -10db till 10 db. tak salah nak pasang semua tu tapi agak2 la wei. mau stiff TM aku ni lame2 kalo dengar bunyi yang kuat camtu tetiba di pagi hari. at least, turunkanlah intensity tu sikit. taknak turun sikit, banyak pon jadilah. huu~

dah needa dah! macam2 dah ko komen and bebel2 kat sini. bawak2 mengucap dan berzikir. ni ngomen je keje. berubah la sikit perangai tu.
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okeh! aku cuba tuk tak banyak ngomel or ngomen. tapi apa aku cakap betul pe..?? huu~ kalo salah maafkanlah. aku cuma budak baik yang tak perfect sebab aku manusia biasa yang penuh silap dan salah. teguran duharapkan. insyaallah akan menerima dengan hati terbuka walaupon diri ini dikatakan pongoh oleh kaum keluarga terutamanya.

kekaseh lama

ok. semalam saya jumpa kekaseh lama. ada bantahan?? mesti la ada kan..haisy~ kalau jumpa as a friend macam saya jumpa kawan2 laki saya yang lain pon tak boley ke? ape? boleh? timekaseh...tapi? tapi apakah rakan2?? owh...saya faham. baik...saya tak lebeh2. saya kan budak baik. hehe!

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i always remember what u've always tell me my friends. of course for me to be like her, it will never happen. insyaallah. it wasn't feel good when somebody did wrong to me but for me to reciprocate those damn things, i never have heart to do that. she's a girl. just like me. own a soft heart which is easy to break. honestly, i just want to be friend. with everybody. to be like her, again...it is not so me. insyaallah...

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but i had a great time with him. could be more open and more selambe. i like~ saya tak perlu rasa seperti dulu. terlalu berjaga2 takut tidak disukai dan terlalu berjaga2 takut melukai. saya cakap apa yang saya nak. i laugh the way i laugh and i smile the way i smile. met with him without the previous title that we ever had, it was a pleasure time. most important thing, i could be me. the thing that i wished to do in front of him. i couldn't do it as his 'special' but as his friend i could do it yesterday. thanks to me. now i know why this is the best way for us. (^_^) it was a good decision at all.

p/s: btw, lesung pipit guy tu ade lagi tp dah jarang nampak. agak kecewa la...huu~=p

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dalam hati aku ada taman, moga aku berjaya tuk tidak merosakkan nya lagi.

opps! i've changed my layout! again! suddenly fall in luv with this travel version (^_^)
so, boley tido dengan aman...

PART 1,2,3 ,4

PART 1
my 1st day clinic. menarek walopun performance cam hampeh. banyak yang dapat belajar. main complain n comment from my supervisor was aku amatlah lemah dalam membuat history taking. pada hal practice banyak kali dah. practice ar banyak mane pon tapi bila mengadap patient betol je semua dalam kepala otak ni ilang. haisy~ gelabah takyah cakap ar. hadoi! i got 4 patients while my partner got 3. majority were referred by ENT. ramai tol patient ari ni. bertali arus. mane lah aku tak gelabah? supervisor aku pon gelabah tengok aku wat keje lambat. most important info kat sini, my supervisor for today adalah senior sekolah menengah waktu kat Ipoh. go SERATA! macam tak percaya. tak banyak tentang clinic nak diceritakan tapi memang memenatkan. tak dapat bayangkan bila kerja nanti.

PART 2
kelas start kul 2.15pm after clinic di pagi hari. mengantuk tak katalah dalam kelas tu. namun berjaya tuk menahannya. tapi malangnya, kejadian yang tak menarek berlaku. niat di hati nak membantu kawan tapi disalahertikan sebagai berborak ketika kelas sedang berjalan. ceh! kecewa juga tapi takde ar sampai nak over2. kecewa sebab tak kena tempat betol kena tegur camtu. agak2 memang kalo duk dekat2 dengan dia tempias tuk di'aim' dan dikatakan pembuat onar amat tinggi ke kebarangkaliaannya?? tak paham...haisy~ siap bersurat2 pulak lepas tu. lagi tak paham..hello!! i'm not u okay! mungkin dalam hati aku ada taman tapi bukan tuk perkara2 sebegitu.

PART 3
amat penat di malam hari. maka tidak menghadirkan diri ke meeting yang makin memeluatkan aku. maka membuat keputusan tuk tidor. mimpi mengarut! siap berbalas message dengan orang berkenaan. message gadoh2 lak tu. hahhaha! menarek bila dalam mimpi anda boleh meluahkan apa sahaja yang terbuku di hati n tak terkeluar di mulut. huh! kalo lah memang sampai hati tuk buat macam tu, memang kiamat ar per'kawan'an kami. hahha! nasib masih jitu hati ini untuk menyimpan semuanya.

PART 3
tetiba rindu sama dia. mengapakah?? artiskah dia. seronoknya kalo dapat dengar dia nyanyi betol2 di telinga di hadapan mata. cair2~ hmm..banyak berfikir tentang dia memang tak memberikan faedah tapi sekadar nak layan2 perasaan boleh la kot. membaca blog2 yang berkenan di hati. semuanya menceritakan kebahagiaan. bilakah hari bahagiaku akan tiba?? huh! kalau dalam hati ada taman masih mahu menempuh duka kah? belajar dr pengalaman amat bagos. tapi untuk takot dan serik selamanya adalah kelemahan. wah! mermadah kata tiba2. eh, saya rindu dia lagi. nak kahwin dengan dia. ayah, umi, abang2, kakak n rakan2, sila restui kami jika kami berjodohan. hehhe! harapan masih ada walaupun jauh. BERANGAN!!!

PART 4
oh, berenti dulu. wanna continue finishing my assignment first. adios! moga saat2 dapat mencoret panjang muncul lagi! (^_^)

hhhuu

all of sudden, i feel uneasy. should not be or should be. avoiding me from being hypocrite . stick with what i feel. unfortunately, it does not give me any satisfaction. i'm still sane but still can't think appropriately and properly. my mind is very vulnerable to the outsider's influences. act like doesn't care but totally lying to myself. I CARE! i do care. huh! complicated to explain it even to myself. i know, the time will come. when? i just have to wait patiently. (^_^)

more courteous la nida

disebabkkan kecuakan yg melanda diri, aku kejap2 terjaga waktu tido pagi tadi. sebabnye arini 1st day kawan2 aku clinic. even though diorang yg clinic tapi aku kat bilik rase sama takut je. message diberikn kpd rakan2 menyatakn tak sabar nak tau ape jadi. kemudian membuka laptop dan mengonline kan diri. emel dibuka. menerima emel drpd respective lecturer. beliau volunteer tuk assist kitorang esok bagi preparation tuk masuk clinic. jadi, aku membalas emelnya menyatakan hasrat untuk menyertai session tersebut. malangnya, akibat unconsciousness and tak ter'courteous' ngan sape yang aku sedang reply mereply emel, maka diri ini ditegur. sorry my respective lecturer. i did not have any intention to be rude or not courteous about it. it was just subconscious action from me. seriously, i do apologize of what i had done.
tolong jangan marah sy. huk3!

nothing

my first day at Kuantan, i did nothing except 'fb'ing and blogging. woke up quite late and accompanied my roommate to the mahallah office and clinic then off to cafe. for 'brunch'. stopped by at zakiah's room and chatting for quite awhile. off to my room and slightly shocked. my roommate was covered by her blanket. of course la she covered by herself. kompem! nak demam la tu. now, still covering. panas wei, tengah2 hari buta ni berselimut. poor her. 1st day at kuantan, she got some illness. rindu bangi ke weh?? hahha!

clinic schedule already on. got partner with aima suhaily at jhc and ayuadela at htaa. sorry guys, i'm not good enough to help you out but u're the one who needs to help me out!!! i mean it. seriously!!! kecuakan already melanda diri lah. need to do some revision of course.huh!

bile dah balik kuantan, blogging dan 'fb'ing mule menjadi kegemaran. haisyo!!!

lot things are waiting

ok! lots of work are waiting. am i in danger?? of course! if still in previous mood and attitude. two programs are waiting which couldn't be held last semester. and now, one more program is waiting. mintak2 la jadi tiga2 program tu sem ni. there were few problems last sem which resulting in postponing the programs. i hope for the best this sem. and all the members, please give your fully cooperation. classes as usual plus new program in our study schedule. clinic! absolutely! how i'm gonna divide my time evenly? i'm worst for this part. nak wat meeting pon kadang2 tertangguh 2 3 kali. i'm not really a good 'pemimpin' but i'm trying my best even though sometimes i did it halfheartedly. first and foremost i wanna clean my room, bed and locker. then, the other things i'll slowly thinking and solving them. one by one. that's what i'm gonna do and planning to do. seriously, moga2 2 program sem lepas yang terpaksa ditangguhkan dapat diselesaikan dan dijalankan sem ni. they have to be done this semester! must!!!!

tonite i'll be going to kuala lumpur. 3 months vacation. it was a long vacation which was enough for me to gain weight. done nothing except simple home works did give me permission to eat, sleep, watching tv, and done nothing! my sis said it was worthless for me for dieting before because at the end of my vacation i did gain weight. huh! 3 kgs. it was really easy to upgrade your weight but for degrading it, you need to do a lot. but its ok. the most important thing, i love staying at home doing and thinking nothing except for everyday menu for me to cook. thanks to ayah and umi for taking care of me at home. btw, i'm not mentally prepared to go and back to my study life. physically?? of course i'm ready!! (^_^) oh, i do bring a lot of new things to my hostel. i'll bring pillow, soft mattress and new kulliyyah bag!! hahhaa! Ranau mari!! thinking of what i'll be taking for the next sem really makes me nervous. i don't know how to face it. honestly, i don't really remember of what i had learn before. absolutely i need to remember lots of thing but i don't remember any single of them. what if my lecturer asks me something i don't remeber?? something i don't even know even i learned it before?? what should i do?? huh! i love studying but thinking of those thing, i prefer doing nothing like a lazy and simpleton girl. i'm not really ready. i need someone's help! yeah! i have my friends. i do have them. please help me my dear2 friends. i really need your help.

next sem, i have to loss my weight. again! so, i have to stick with my previous diet which was corrupted by having vacation at home. may be becoming Ramadhan will help me to loss my weight. i hope so. jangan melantak watu berbuka sudah. haisyo!! and of course, i want to upgrade my pointer. my style of study and be focus in class. more focus!!! gambatte needa!!!!!!!!! oh God, please help me. i have and i need to!!!!