dua puluh dua

angka yg banyak. lagi 10 tahun 32, lagi 10 tahun kemudian 42, n then dah btol2 tua. huu~ umur memang akan bertambah dari tahun ke tahun tapi perangai berubahkah dari tahun ke tahun?? apa yang penting diri mengharapkan agar amalan akan bertambah. bila la nak btol2 insaf??haisy~ hari ni menerima ucapan birthday drpd ramai rakan2 yang jauh serta dekat. terima kasih kepada semua kerana sudi luang sedikit masa tuk memberi wish kepadaku. i really appreciate it. tapi bila menerima ucapan yang banyak, tetiba aku rasa sedih. sedih dengan perbuatan sia2 yang pernah diri ini lakukan semasa diri masih berumur mentah. ceh! gaya cakap cam skarang matang gile je. cemanapun, aku akan berusaha tuk menjadi seorang yang lebih berguna. lebih matang. ermm..yang ni mampukah?? mampu kot. slow2...=p

btw, thanx to my brothers and sister yang tak lupakan hari yang menjadikan adik bongsumu ini makin tua. thanx juga kepada umi yang memberi ucapan yang baik dan thanx kepada ayah yang tak memberi sebarang ucapan kepadaku.

paling ku berterima kasih, thanx kepada CELCOM yang tak lupa memberi hadiah birthday yang amat bermakna padaku tiap2 tahun. tahun ini juga kamu tidak lupa. =))

ho to ka jo aka what shud i do

wondering. always wondering. what shud i do when d time comes. what shud i do when choices have to be made. what shud i do if there are no choices at all. what shud i do when keep hunger for d previous one. what shud i do?? nothing. just wait and see. i've done it for years. always wait and see. till when?? always 10 steps behind. shud i say more than 10?? 10! don't want to humiliate myself. sengal~


when i kept thinking d right things dat i shud do in my future, it always came out with wonderful and beautiful thought. but! there is still but. but when i kept thinking it deeply, i realized and felt like i don't have d right to be like dat. life never been beautiful like we expect. we can say 'life is beautiful' but to have a beautiful life, lots of sacrifice shud be done.


i do envy people who are enjoy their life without any difficulty. they don't have to work hard, think hard, do hard. everything goes smoothly. how they get such a great life?? i do feel grateful with my own life but still....sumtimes, i feel unsatisfied. i did work hard but i never really got what i wanted. i did aim for d best but i only got d average. i did search for d answers but i only got million of questions. why?? my life is simple but yet is complicated. i don't really understand. with myself especially. and i don't feel good with my path that I've chosen.


even now, i'm still wondering.....what shud i do??

cutiku

my fair lady dan u're beautiful. dua drama Korea yang aku berjaya khatam dalam masa 5 hari. dua2 drama tersebut memang menarek. drama pertama menceritakan tentang seorang perempuan kaya bersama butler nye dan cerita kedua menceritakan tentang seorang perempuan menyamar sebagai lelaki untuk memasuki sebuah band.


apa yang ingin ditekankan di sini adalah perasaan semasa menonton drama2 tersebut. pelik! pelik dengan diri sendiri. air mata amat mudah untuk mengalir walaupun babak sedih yang dipaparkan kadang2 tidaklah terlalu sedih. kenapa air mata mudah tuk mengalir? pelik. sebelum ni, hanya mentertawakan kakak yang amat mudah mengalirkan air mata even cerita yang dipaparkan tak tahu tang mana sedihnya. ermm..kena badi diakah??


hati amat sensitif atau jiwa terlau lembut?? tak tahu mana satu jawapan yang pasti. sebab drama2 tersebut terlalu mnyentuh hatikah?? macam tak sangat...pelik dengan diri sendiri tapi tiada jawapan yang pasti tuk masalah tersebut. mungkin keturunan dan lebih tepat lagi terlalu menghayati cerita yang dipaparkan. poyos!


tahniah kepada Siti Hasniza Mohd Zainuddin kerana mendapat berita gembira di hari ulang tahun perkahwinanmu. saya bakal dapat anak sedara lagi. Insyaallah. saya gembira!!!!!!!!!! moga dipermudahkan segalanya untukmu. Amin...


'to do list' tapi still tak terbuat:
1) EAP- introduction
2) EAP- an essay
3) paediatric for audiology- Jaundice
4) RKUD- hajj for spreading knowledge
5) study for mid exam- pediatric for audiology
6) study for mid exam- technique for audiology

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! TAK SUKA!!!

sumtimes we need a strong gut to face with sumthing that wasn't really difficult. i always wonder why. simple things, we took it as too comlicated. but once you understood it well it became easier and simpler. then, you started to look down for sumone who took it like you had done before. why on earth we have to be like that? we, ourselves learned from our silly experiences. we have no right to act like that. just realize that you once on that step before. stop laughing but give them opportunity to think on their own way. GIVE THEM SUPPORT!


those things are my own thought towards people who really do underestimate others. i did realize sumtimes me myself being one of those people. and quickly, immediately and instantly i tried to wake up from doing that. if you really realized with your own mistakes you will feel shame. yes and of course shame of youself! don't ever underestimate others like you never done any mistake before. stop judging other's matters but focus on yourself first. annoying with others never help you to correct you own's. look deep in youself, figure it out, depth thinking. those things may help.


i'm not a perfect person. just like to share some opinions of mine. i do realize not all people i have known really adore and like me. most of the time i only being with my 3 friends who never tell their own feelings towards me right in front of my face. as well as me. i know not all those things that i did, they liked or favored. they just don't want me to feel hurt. as well as me. thus, to all my friends who know me, i apologize for every single thing that might hurt you. sumtimes, we never realize our own mistakes until we silent and deeply think about what we had/have done ( including if i did underestimate you). i'm truly really sorry.

depress. do i??

i really appreciate if sumone could tell me what i've been thinking all along the years i've been living and studying in this luvly campus. i really appreciate if sumone can comfort me just for a while. i really do appreciate if sumone can show me the truth of what i've been doing. the journey of 4 years not a short one. you have to sacrifice enough and be more tougher than ever if u are drowning in sumthing that u don't favor. and it will be more and more tougher when u only realize it after 2 years. your heart will be sinking and hard to breath but u have to stay in it for 2 years more.


am i doing the right thing in my life?? 2 more years. is it enough for me to fall in luv in what am i doing right now?? perhaps, i really hope so. people won't realize sumthing until they face with the difficulties that they don't know how to cope and adapt. but, i'll try my best. that is the only way i have. for now i think.


now, i slightly depress with what i have to do. and i slightly depress of what i have been thru. i wish i have a perfect long term memory in order for me to remember and being expert in each thing that i have learnt and i wish i have short term memory for the things i had been done which were truly guilt!!


i do need advices.

mix stories

jumaat lepas diri kembali sihat dan keputusan tuk ke induction di taman negara diambil. best dan menarik! aktiviti yang dijalankan serta aktiviti yang dirancang dalam group binding yang diadakan juga menarek. sekarang tengah pening nak atur tarikh sesuai tuk program. padan muka! rancang banyak2 agi.even demamku dah tade, tapi selsema dan batukku belum surut. mengapakah?? akibat batuk yang teruk last week, diri mengalami masalah tuk bernafas. dengan selambanye doc cakap aku de asthma. pelik! tak pernah2..haisy~

selasa kelmarin pergi ke gombak. niat di hati nak join meeting besar-besaran tersebut tapi hanya mampu tunggu separuh jalan je. lari keluar makan bersama rakan2. dietku hancur lagi pada malam itu. haisy~ entah berjaya atau tidak dengan diet ini, kita lihat nanti ;p malam selase tu juga patutnya ade presentation eap. akibat kesilapanku, maka rakan2 kelas tidak dapat melakukan presentation dengan jayanya. diri pohon maaf ye rakan2..=(

hari ini batuk berkurangan tapi selsema tetap sama. info tuk pembentangan eap terus dicari. makin dicari makin konpius. camne nak wat?? rase2 dapatkah diri mempresent dengan baik selasa depan. owh, lupa! diri dan rakan2 tak de cuti minggu ni. class straight sampai kames depan means sabtu dan ahadku jua berkelas. busy betul! lecturer luar memang menyukarkan pembelajaran tapi nak wat camne. still bersykur ade orang nak ajar. btol tak??

mengharapkan sesi tangkap gambar petang ni berjalan lancar, klas tuk hari sabtu dan ahad juge minta dipermudahkan serta meeting ahad ini dapat kerjasama drpd semua.

aku rase otak makin sengal. haisy~

DBSK

DBSK. aku baru je mengenali group ni beberape minggu yang lalu. sebelum ni hanya pernah dengar jer. pelik kenapa ramai sangat yang minat. now i know. diorang very cute and of course amat talented dalam tarian dan juga nyanyian. couple weeks ago, aku dengar member aku cakap diorang dah berpecah. then, aku amat eager untuk tahu betol ke?? tapi sebab aku dah tertarik hati dengan group ni, banyak gak ah show diorng aku tengok. thru youtube je la tapi. then ak just google, diorang pernah tak datang ke Malaysia. so, aku dapat jawapan die. pernah! tapi only three of them. member yang gambo ade kat atas tu je yang datang. so, bile google punye google, then aku dapat tau kenapa diorang datang sini dan kenapa 3 orang je.

tapi yang pasti diorang belom dibubarkan sepenuhnya. mungkin bubar jika kes tak dapat diselesaikan dengan baik. sebagai sumone yang baru minat dan mengenali diorang aku harap group ni tak berpecah. diorang sweet together!!

sesiapa yang nak tahu ape kes yang terjadi, google la sendiri. malas nak tulis kat cni. satu lagi aku agak pelik, kenapa lagi 2 orang member group ni tak join diorang 3 orang ni. tak cukup bersatu hatikah?? atau takut menentang kebenaran?? hanya diorang yang tau jawapannya. aku hanya baru beberapa minggu mengenali group ni. so, no further comment.