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heavy eyes but still can't sleep. thinking of something that i should not have to. but mind keep thinking and can't resist the thought. my fault or not? i can't identify it. keep thinking and thinking but still no answer. did ask my friend for some opinions but still could not help me. my stupidity above my rationality. at least for now i think. huh! my head, my brain, my mind. all are heavy. heavy with ******* rubbish stuffs that i can't resist. as i said before, my mind says no but my heart says yes.

when u're trapped in this situation, the best thing u should do is ignoring the thought or the feeling and whatsoever the damn thing is. i'm trying to do that and i hope it will give me a good result. sometimes, u have lots of friend to share with but there is limitation of telling them everything. hence, the best thing u have is writing on this blog and telling people your problem secretly (by means telling them nothing except what and how u feel). that's all.

once, i loved to write on the paper everything that i hate, anger with, annoying with, and everything that bother me. then, i teared the paper and threw it away. i felt good by doing that but the others will know ur secret. of course for some reasons, people will pick up the paper and fix it like before just to know what u have written and they'll spread the stories. i stopped doing that just because of that reason and now, i feel good by telling what i feel just like this. ignoring if people will say bad things about my blog. i just want to express what i feel the way i comfortable with.

this is me.