tak puas hati

bangun awal pagi dengan semangat berkobar2 tuk ke kelas. tahu ape jadi? class cancel. then memasang hajat supaya mock viva pon cancel tapi malang nye tidak. last minute preparation. mangharapkan dapat jawab dengan 50% baik sahaja. hujan amat lebat. bergerak ke kuliyyah dengan perasaan yang amatlah tidak rela.










mock viva berlangsung. finally this was a comment that i got:
"you have the knowledge and the answer about this but you're uncertain. so, please read more, do a revision more. and please be more serious"

sile fokuskan pada ayat "please be more serious". panjang hujah yang diberikan kepada saya dengan harapan saya akan appear dengan mode and muka yang lebih serous after this. so, response yang diterima bila berwajah serious pegi ni:

1) needa, senyum la sikit!!
2) needa, nape serius semacam ni?
3) needa, are you okay?
4) needa, ko nampak marah.

jadi, wajah ini yang akan saya wujudkan for the sake of my professionalism and nak menandakan saya serious. dan paling penting, lecturers or supervisors do not misinterpret keseriusan saya. thats me when i'm serious. most friends do not like it. and i'll do it if you wanna me to look that serious.


oh, btw. BTN seminar this morning memang menyakitkan hati. "saya bukan nak cakap pasal politik" but the fact is most of ape yang dicakapkan memang berunsur politik. kami masih student. ini tahap awal untuk sesi brain wash kah? and sesi membersihkan nama2 yang terlibat. itu paling pasti. dan memburuk2 kan pihak lain yang terlibat? i really hope that wasn't what BTN is.


sincerely,
upsetting girl
(because of yesterday and today) T_T

p/s: saya memang tak puas hati dgn diri sendiri dan dengan apa yang saya kena dengar pagi ni.

dude, do you have conscience?

this is my post for you. this will be my expression of curiosity and unsatisfaction of your action. is it hard enough for you to tell us where the hell are you??? you do have your decision and you have your right but at least can you please be less mean toward us. even your besties does not know where on earth are you. come on dude, don't be like this. you said before that you are someone who cares about me and your friends, so please don't do this to us. at least a short message telling what are you up to right now and why you do that.

lots of thing i wanna ask but if you happen to read my blog especially this post just drop your message in the comment box. it won't hurt your pride. aren't you???

p/s: i do miss the old you dude. i do hope you have at least a lil bit conscience in you.

urghh

currently watching CSI. its really easy to hitch someone in this. omg. lets forget about it. like before my intro of my post mesti ayat lame gile nak update tp bal bla bla bla. still in month of syawal. gladly semuanye berjalan dengan lancar. happening. had the opportunity to gather with all family members. it is not about raya i'm going to speak here. but it is more important subject actually. it is respect. dah lame tak update something serious like this but i feel like i have and need to.

its been years she's been a mother. okey specifically stepmom. it does not matter either she's biological mom or stepmom but at least give her some respect even you do not like her. i really hope i can tell you this face to face but of course your ego and pride won't allow me. i hate you for what you have done. i hate you for being backstabber. i hate you for being talam dua muka. we are ageing. don't you ever realize it? please...change your attitude.

jangan sampai one day your own children treat you the same way you did.

and as a husband,its better to educate your wife really well.

just a reply

its up to u if u wanna read my blog. i won't private my blog just to avoid u from reading it. and this is how i tell people how happy or frustrated i am towards something. yeah, u have the right to feel that way and in fact i'm glad u still have that kind of feeling. i had enough sorry or apologize towards you. once, i did cautious about everything about you, take care of your heart so called your feeling instead of mine but now, i think its time for me to take care of mine. i have nothing with you. just a respect as a friend but u were the one who spoiled it first. if you had enough with me, just go. i won't stop u. i won't say anything again. before this i tried to clear our misunderstandings but i think it was just a waste. thanx for messaging me late at night just to tell me how you felt. then, lets my post being our medium of communication. this is the honesty of mine towards something. the truly feeling of mine about u, i wrote it all in this.

yeah. i got a camera

yeah. i got a camera. thanx 4 asking even not straight through me. u can ask if u wanna know instead of messaging me with annoying words in it. and for your information it was not like 'oh, aku nak kamera tu la!then tros dapat'. i had to consider lots of thing and i did buy it at PC fair. satisfied with my own answer? sometimes, you can have what you desire but of course it needs sacrifice. instead of u said "ade orang tu sangat kaya..beli kamera harge ribu riban..." its better u ask me properly okay. it was sooo annoying when i got that message from u. felt like wanna reply with sarcastic words je tau. n i did not get any scholar but i do have my own ability to save my own money and i did able to buy what i want because of that. btw, thanx again for the curiosity towards what i have.

spill out

sometimes, even people said how bad u are, i still accept the way u are. because i'm not the one who has right to judge u in any circumstances. i just a girl who needs friend all around me. then, u appeared and gave me all the supports. thanx for that. but sometimes i have limit. u should know that. i cried, i laughed even i spitted out bad words u were the 1st one who heard everything first. then, optimistically i decided that u knew everything about me. hence, please respect me. do not ever challenge my patience. when i said no, i meant no. and of course DON'T ever to mention it again. u can tell me everything that u want but just do not keep talking the same matters everyday which make me feel annoy. i know how to handle it myself and i know how to control my feeling. just go ahead if u like and do not drag me together with u. i'm different now. I've changed (that's what ***** always said). then, that's who i am.

.................................................................................

woke up, on my lappy, facebooking, then it just rang a bell for me to jot all those things down. i do not want to be a backstabbing friend. enough that i've being a bad girl lately. i sensitive enough. it just i do not want to show it. that's the truth. now, feel better after spitted all them out.

tak tau malu itu bangang ̿̿̿ ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿

pernah dengar istilah perempuan tak tau malu tak?? ada muka tapi tebal gila. kebal dengan segalanya. pandang lah seserong mana pon, muka yang akan ditayang tetap muka 10 sen. tu pon kira ok sebab 10 sen. cuba kalo ditayang muka 1 sen. ok, fine! 1 sen dah takde skang. 5 sen la. perempuan macam ni memang berlambak kat dunia. antara jumpa dengan tidak je. tapi untuk tidak jumpa perempuan macam ni memang kebarangkaliannya amat rendah. nak tau kenapa?? sebab kat dunia ni makin banyak perempuan macam ni.

ni pulak nak tanya, pernah tak jumpa ngan laki yang bajet bagus seluruh alam dan for sure la tak tau malu gak. laki macam ni pon makin berlambak skang. nak salahkan mak bapak yang mendidik sepenuhnya pon tak boleh sebab diorang yang membentuk diri diorang ke arah kepoyoan yang melampau. tambah2 kalo diorang dikategorikan sebagai budak bijak. makin menjulang tahap kebajetan mereka. ok, this kind of guy memang tak boleh bagi muka. sekali kau bagi, berganda2 dia amik peluang pijak kepala kau.

dua jenis kategori manusia yang dikatakan makin berlambak kat dunia ni memang lah amat membengangkan. kebangangan mereka kadang2 membuat orang lain sakit jiwa. kalau dipasangkan amatlah padan. kenapa?? sebab dua2 tak tau malu ditemukan maka berganda2 lah perangai yang bangang itu. so, semoga bahagia manusia bangang yang berpasangan dan tolong minimumkan gangguan anda terhadap manusia normal yang lain. jangan libatkan orang lain dengan perangai korang yang kurang normal itu.

sekian.

khabar buruk!

saya sakit hati sama kaki tangan di "medicine office"