Friday, January 20, 2012

spending hours @MPH. LOVE!!

before i start, just wanna wish thank you to ainil hawa for this lovely souvenirs. dapat jugak saya makan kek lapis! (^_^)


venue:OU
specific location: MPH
time: 3.45pm till 7.3opm
Ok, first thing first. this must be snapped. al maklum lah, makin meningkat umur, makin cepat lupe (^_^)


first book which did attract me first. ermmm....otak ligat mengire2.


cute kan this book??? i bought this one!!(^_^)


oh my!! these are the best! kejap pegang kejap lepas. hihi! last2, after hours been there, i decided to buy those. puas hati!!=p


just browsing through..suddenly bumped with this section! hmmm..*ntah ape2 la aku ni.


memang harapan la kalau nak aku baca and ngadap buku2 macam ni. ahakz!


did spend an hour for this book. cantik sangat pics yang di'shot'. so magnificent!!=)


nearly an hour for this book too. *please ignore the sandal.


then when i looked outside, jam okay! how i'm going to go home...???


ni pulak yang datang!!


when si cik kak tu sampai after 3 hours, i did bump with these books. nak beli but already buy some.


okaiy!!! time to eat. awe's treat.yeay!! (^_^). nandos...nyum!nyum! thanx ye cik kak =)


then....pulang dengan girangnye. perot kenyang, hati pon senang. hihi! (^_^)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

entah

finally..i'm in kl. Meet my beloved father and see his smile. But still..he's not in the best state of health. Surgery? He does not want to do it anymore. Takot katenye. Setakat ni tak ade siape pon yang boleh pujuk. Me? Not yet try. Waiting for a suitable time. Konon lah kan. Aleh2 aku senyap je, ikot je ape dia kate. Hiks! Oh, finally, abes pon sesi re-sit for viva. A week waiting just for 15 mins session of oral defense. Huh! Rugi cuti seminggu. Jangan merungut..ada hikmah tau. Ermm..sekarang ni, jangan pernah putus doa dan harap. Moga semua nya lulus dengan jayanya. Oh, i miss my kampung so badly. Ayah said nak balik this saturday. Can't wait. Tapi risau la dengan condition dia. Moga terbuka hati ayah to undergo that surgery. It pains to see him in that condition. Haih ayah..kenape la nak takut2 pulak. Ok, memang login la nak takut but still it'll give benefit for his future kan. Macam mane nak pujuk ni...?? Ade sesape tau? Karang kalo cakap lebey2 mahulah diri sendiri yang kena tadah telinga balik. He is so good in nagging ok. Hiks!

Ok, plan of spending my time for tomorrow at MPH. Kat mane lagi...??? OU la. MPH kat situ memang the best. Lots to choose babe =) if you nak selak lebey2 pon boleh. Ape lagi, marilah menyerbu. Why i'm so full of spirit nk serang MPH? I got the 200 voucher ok. So, what else i'm gonna do with tose vouchers. Mari menggila di MPH. Yeay!!


P/s: moga Allah murahlan rezeki dan kurniakan kecemerlangan. Aminnn...
10 days left. Hmm...ntah ape aku bebel kat atas tu =p eh, updates thru E5 woo000..hiks! Bajet canggih..

Sunday, January 15, 2012

lets do it (^_^)

bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
rasa lebih tenang bila dapat memulakan segalanya dengan menyebut nama yang Maha Esa.

oh, i did plan to wake up really late today. so, i need to do something else first before going back to my sleep. hehhe! so, i'm updating my blog now. ermm..tak tahu sangat nak tulis ape sebenarnya. people cry kan? so do i. i did cry a lot yesterday. my heart was like been throbbed by a sharp object and it was so painful. the pain is still remain until today. betol lah orang cakap, cara paling berkesan meluahkan rasa hati yang sakit is by crying. before this i did it a lot. but towards something yang so stupid. maklumlah waktu tu zaman hingusan kan. berfikir pon ikot hati je. pakai otak pon sekali sekala je. hahha! so, yesterday i did cry because of my practical exam. i did not expect to pass everything just like that and i know something wrong somewhere when in viva room (*oral defend session after doing clinic aka assess the patient). but when you already did all out and you did work hard to face that thing and still the result came out slightly beyond your hope, it does break our little fragile heart. actually semalam buat pengakuan exclusive kat my friends, i did cry like a crazy girl sebab i'm tired. screaming, shouting and everything. siap diorang cakap aku gile dah ar and not to mention siap ade yang siap cakap yang aku ni macam ade bipolar behavior sebab dalam nanges tu boley gelak2 kan. mana tak macam oarang gila. eh? hahahaha! and i do feel tired. my friends said so. we're tired. our brain are really tired. for now, we are tired. thats how we feel.

tapi, first thing first la kan. sape lagi nak layan tangisan yang huru hara macam ni. my long lasting friends, him and of course ayah did the best part! elders know better because they learned through time. *maksudnye diorang kan dah lama hidup, makan garam pon lagi banyak daripada aku kan. so, ayah's words is the best medicine for my throbbing and breaking heart. he seals my heart back and put it just like and original one. betollah ayah, tak semua benda senang dalam dunia ni. tak semua benda kita nak, dapat macam yang kita rancang. Allah tentukan semua ni untuk kita. Allah beri ujian pada orang yang berhak. Dia ade caraNya tersendiri untuk buat kita sedar kita ni memang amat kerdil di sisiNya. tapi Dia juga selalu ingatkan kita, Dia tak pernah tinggal kita walaupon sesaat. cuma manusia terutamanya aku, yang mudah lupa. Allah sayang kita sangat sampai Dia taknak kita terus lupa dan alpa. thats how Dia kembalikan kita pada jalanNya dan redhaNya.

bila umur makin mencecah usia kedewasaan, aku nampak semua ni. cuma hati dan jiwa kena lebih kuat untuk hadapi semua. but still...i do hope kami semua dapat lulus sem ni dengan cemerlang. aku dapat lulus dengan cemerlang. hanya Allah yang tahu. dengan itu ya Allah, aku menadah tangan memohon padaMu berikanlah kami kecemerlangan itu. dan Engkau berkatilah kami agar kami berjaya untuk menjadi insan yang cemerlang di dunia dan akhirat. amin....

my heart now, is back to normal. i have Allah, my parents and friends. they do support me. so, i will do my best for this viva remedial. may be i need some times to prepare. *maklumlah hati ni tak sabar2 nak balik jumpa ayah umi kan. hehe! so, i need to tune back my channel to a correct one. books? notes? memang tak boleh simpan lagi la kan...tapi memang tak simpan lagi pon after exam practical ari tu sebab rasa macam something tak cukup. something was not right tuk simpan awal2. so, this is it! i have to face the viva again. go needa!!!! everything will be okay. think at the positive side, kegagalan menguatkan anda. thats why you have been chosen by Allah to face this. me and friends are strong. we can do all these. so, good luck to myself and my friends. knowing that i'm not alone to face this, it makes me relieve. i know, they do feel the same. so, lets fight friends!!!

Friday, January 13, 2012

apa hati ini rasa

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
dengan nama Allah yang maha pemurah lagi maha mengasihani.

hujan belom berhenti. masih Dia menurunkan rahmatNya. moga hambaNya tidak lupa yang Dia maha berkuasa di atas segalanya. i'm staring outside the window and keep wondering when the rain is going to stop. its quiet in here. only the sounds of fan. my heart is not yet in easy but yet it already felt calm. only time can tell.

otak aku belom betol2 berehat sejak final examination had started. berkerja keras dari hari ke hari. and it did come the day when i felt hopeless. kept staring at the book and knew it was not going to be okay. my brain was restless. put the blame on me. aku sedar aku pelajar tegar yang sentiasa berlajar di saat terakhir. but as students we do it for reason. sometimes it works and sometimes no. but this time especially this sem it gave me pressure. the feeling of damn stress. the feeling of 'why i have to face all these'. the feeling of running away from everthing. thats how i felt. but smiles that never faded away from the face wouldn't show people anything. you can be the awesome cool person ever by hiding all of your feelings. but the reality is only you and Allah knows.

i just jot everything here just to sooth myself. i know my limitation and i know what i'm lack off. but because of this 'lack', it does give me the feeling of uneasiness. the feeling of you can't do well in everything you do. people do judge me wrong. that is what i feel. they say i do well but only me knows how well i am. how knowledgeable i am. i'm not a genius student which everything in the grab of my hand. i am someone who needs to work harder just to achieve a fair result and a genius who have done nothing always do better than me. sometimes, it does give me the feeling of very down to the earth and extremely upset with myself.

but today, i tried my best. i did my best. Allah knows and i know.

maka ya Allah dengan rasa hina dan rendah dirinya, berkatilah hambaMu ini dan kurniakanlah keputusan yang baik lagi cemerlang kepadaku dan rakan2. moga kami sentiasa dalam lindunganMu ya Allah.

p/s: nervous mode. uneasiness feeling. and i'm waiting till the day i can prove i deserve to be in this field. i'll work harder!!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

we played!

we did go to TC AND finally ended up to teruntum mini zoo. no animals pic ok. just we who extremely ecstatic playing at the play ground.

tadaaaa!!!!































ok, thats all. chow~
p/s: as reward for our 2nd exam paper (^_^)

Friday, January 6, 2012

only me hope

people live for purposes. we've been created not for doing nothing. we have reason to live. have reason to breath. until He takes it back. this is my first post of new year. its not too late for me to say happy new year though. what i'm going to jot today is nothing for you to be bother with. i'm going to turn to 24 less than a month. seriously speaking, i'm afraid of this number. i'm going to be older, will be having more responsibilities and things will be more complicated for me. not so complicated if i can handle everything well. well, what i wish to achieve for this year i like to keep them within myself. i'll try harder and pray harder to achieve them. but the most important thing, i wanna be mature. more mature in thinking, saying and everything that i'll do. 24 is not a small number of age. it does give me a reason to be aware and wary. friends, people, others might not understand but this is what i feel the most. i'm starting to be afraid of what my life will lead me to. will i get a good job and everything? all are keep 'twirling' inside my head. does anyone will be my life partner and will i get a good life ahead? but the most thing i hope and wish for all my thoughts, i have someone to lean on. i have someone to go to when i'm down and in a peril situation. this thought seems like simple but still, it will give you the most strength ever when you have it. now, i'm wonder do i have someone to lean on right now? and the person should be understand me more than other people regardless my family.

to someone who lives in Kuching, i do apologize of what i did yesterday. thats me when i was not in a good mood. everything seems wrong. everything seems hopeless. sometimes you do give back my 'mood' but to be honest i hope you could do the same yesterday. especially yesterday. may be i put too much hope on you. i'm sorry.

2 papers remain and one practical exam. i hope i'll do best in all of them. i do hope and really hope i won't have to repeat any paper or delay in finishing my study. Allah, please give me barakah.

this is serious entry of me. and i'm waiting for that day to come.